Snout Hill
by mysterkookie
Summary: None.


**Snout Hill**

_Prologue_

_When Hairy Maysen succeeded __in making his wife's death looked like an accident, he was ecstatic. Now, he will be able to inherit the fortune his dead wife has left behind. The very thought of getting millions of dollars made him grin from ear to ear. However, when the lawyer read out her will, Hairy was shocked to find out that their adopted seven-year-old bitch daughter would be given ninety-nine percent of the fortune while Hairy would only be given a mere monthly allowance of a hundred bucks for his living expenses. Hairy was angry. In fact, he was furious. He was furious because while he had done all the dirty work, that stupid bitch daughter of his gets everything. This tore him up inside. If it wasn't for his adopted daughter, Sherrel, he would have become a millionaire. He could see himself getting so close to the fortune, but at the same time so far from the money. Hairy knew he had to do something. He forced himself to make the final drastic move. That is, to get rid of his daughter once and for all. The more he looked at his daughter, the more she looked like a thorn in the flesh. She was the only hindrance to him, preventing him from laying his hands on the cold hard cash. _

_Figuring that no other place can give him the opportunity to get rid of her than a trip back to the place where he had killed his wife, Hairy and Sherrel began the road trip that would change their lives. _

_Unfortunately, for both of them, the night have other plans._

**Chapter 1: Roadtrip to Hell**

_This ride is taking forever. _ Hairy thought. He stole a quick glance over at his daughter, sitting next to him. She was hugging at her drawing book, asleep and drooling. Hairy gasped. Sherrel's disgusting drool was dripping onto his precious leather car seat. Hairy cursed and swear under his breath.

"D-daddy, are we there yet?" Sherrel asked, rubbing at her eyes.

"No." He replied.

"Are we there yet?" She asked again.

"Wha-? I thought I just told yo-"

"Are we there yet?"

"Shut up and go back to sleep, you little bitch. And wipe your disgusting saliva away." Hairy scolded, slapping her across the face.

A police motorbike suddenly moved up next to their traveling vehicle.

_SHIT! _Hairy panicked. He was driving without a valid driver's license.

The female officer signaled for him to pull over his vehicle. Hairy hesitated. If he was arrested, his wonderful plan to get rid of his daughter may be jeopardized. Hairy needed a plan, fast. He racked at his brain for a plan. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do.

Hairy made an erotic oral hand gesture at the female police officer.

The police motorbike suddenly lost control and crashed into a nearby streetlamp.

"Ha-ha, what a sucker!" He snickered, looking at the rear view mirror.

"Daddy?" Sherrel called out.

"What is it, you pesky little bitch?" He replied, annoyed. "Can't you see that I'm enjoying my victorious moment here?"

"Look!" She said, pointing to the road in front.

A girl, in some ugly blue dress, was doing some freaky dance in the middle of the road.

"GAH! What the-?" He shouted, turning the steering wheel to swerve the car away. The vehicle skidded off from the road and spun in circles.

"Weeeeeee. This is fun!" Sherrel was laughing and giggling.

"AHHH!" Hairy screamed.

The car then crashed into a tree next to the road.

x . X . x

Hairy slowly regained his consciousness. He rubbed at his forehead. _What happened? _He wondered. Suddenly, he remembered Sherrel, and immediately turned over to find the passenger seat empty.

"Dammit! What the hell is that little bitch?"He cursed. When he realized that there was no dead body, Hairy was hysterical. "Oh no, could she be A-L-I-V-E?"

He quickly made a quick search for traces of blood, but there were none.

"NOOOOO!" Hairy screamed.

Panic suddenly surged through him for a stinging moment, but he slowly regained his composure. _Wait. Calm down Hairy. She's probably lying somewhere dead. _He thought, a beam of hope building inside him.

Hairy quickly reached for his seatbelt to release it, and stepped out of the car. He began to search around the car. "SHIT! I can't seem to find her fucking body anywhere." He cried disappointingly, as he slowly extended his search down the road.

Suddenly, Hairy saw a small figure in the fog some distance away. "Sherrel? Are you dead yet?" He called out. Immediately, the figure ran across the street and into an alley.

"Dammit! She's still alive!" Hairy screamed, running after the figure.

x . X . x

Hairy arrived at the alley. "Sherrel? You there?" He called out, walking along the quiet alley. "Come out, you stupid bitch!"

(Loud Siren)

Suddenly, everything began to turn dark.

"GAH!" He gasped. _Why is it turning dark so quickly?_ His mind raced. Hairy started to walk more quickly. As he turned at the next corner, Hairy saw a body hanging on the fence opposite of him. "Eh? Could it be Sherrel?" Hairy pulled out a lighter from inside his underwear and lit it.

"Dammit! It's not Sherrel and-" Hairy paused and looked down at his feet. He realized that he was stepping in a puddle of blood. "EEK! My shoes, my brand new shoes!" He screamed like a girl.

Hairy quickly jumped out of the puddle. "Eew." He moaned in disgust, as he wiped his shoes against a nearby wall.

A small dark shadow appeared before him.

"Eh? What the hell?" Hairy mumbled.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a bunch of cute teddy bears came out and began to dance around him.

"Ooh. Teddies. So cute." Hairy giggled.

Suddenly, the teddy bears fish out their knives.

"GAH!" Hairy gasped. "W-what the fuck?"

"Alright, pretty boy. Hand over your money." Teddy bear number one said.

"W-who the hell are you?" Hairy whimpered.

"We are the teddy bear musketeers!" Teddy bear number two announced, making a superhero pose.

"?" A question mark appeared above Hairy's head. "Eew. Why are you wearing your red underwear outside?"

Teddy bear number two blushed.

"Enough." Teddy bear number one said, shoving teddy bear number two away. "Now, as I was saying, hand over your money, bitch!"

"Hey! Who are you calling a bitch, bitch?" Hairy shouted.

"Ooh. Trying to be funny, huh?" Teddy bear number one said. "GET HIM BOYS!"

Within seconds, hundreds of teddies jumped on top of Hairy.

"AHHH!" Hairy wailed like a pig for two seconds before he fainted.

x . X . x

"_Daddy, do you want the money?" Sherrel called out, playing around with the many hundred dollar bills._

"_Yes! Gimme, gimme, gimme!" Hairy said._

"_Do you really want the money, Daddy?" Sherrel asked._

"_YES! NOW GIVE THEM TO ME, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Hairy screamed._

_Suddenly, __Sherrel took a hundred dollar bill and wiped her ass with the money, and shove it into his mouth._

"AHHHH!" Hairy woke up screaming, falling off from the chair. "Ouch, dammit!"

"GAH!" A female voice screamed, spilling the coffee in her hand.

_Thank god, it's just a dream. _He thought, looking at the surrounding. He was in a small diner. He got up from the floor and felt around his back pocket. "GAH! My wallet! My wallet is stolen!" He screamed.

"Dammit! What's wrong with you?" She shouted.

"My wallet is stolen, dammit!" Hairy cried. _So it wasn't a fucking dream after all. _He thought.

"Uh, I already get the part about your wallet being stolen." The woman said, rolling her eyes over. "But who stole it?

"The teddy bear musketeers." He told her. "Fuck! They are so gonna get it from me when I find them!" Hairy scowled, pointing his middle finger in the air.

_Note to self, I've got to stop talking to idiots! _The woman thought.

"By the way, where am I?" Hairy asked. "And who the hell are you?"

"Uh, my name is Sybel Benet. I'm a police officer with the S.T.A.R.S from the next town over." She replied. "You are in Snout Hill."

"S-snout Hill? But I'm supposed to go to South Assfield." Hairy grumbled. "What the hell is this Snout Hill place, anyway?

"How would I know?" Sybel answered. "I was following you earlier when-"

"Wait." Hairy interrupted. "You _ARE _that police officer from the highway?"

"Yes. And thanks to you, my motorbike crashed." Sybel fumed.

"Um, ha-ha." Hairy feigned a fake laugh and pulled his collar. "Uh, who are we talking about?"

"Stop pretending, you son of a bitc-" Sybel said.

"Say, have you seen a little girl, short, black hair?" Hairy interrupted, walking towards her and sat down beside her.

_Idiot! _She thought. "And why are you looking for her? You hate her, anyway." She said.

"NO!" Hairy shouted. _SHIT! This bitch knows too much! I'm gonna have to get rid of her too. _Hairy thought

"Okkaaayyyy." She said, looking at him with weary eyes. "You don't have to shout." She continued. _Sheesh! What's wrong with him? _She thought.

Hairy froze. _Did I let the cat out of the bag? Was my reaction a tad too strong? _He thought. "Uh, w-why'd you say I hate that little bitc-uh, I mean, girl?" He gave her a cheesy smile, his hand slowly reaching for the butter knife on the table.

"Well, I saw you slap her in your car." She said.

Hairy's hand stopped. "Oh, you mean that. I-I, I was just… wiping her drool away." He lied, immediately reached for the cup of coffee next to the butter knife on the table and drank it.

"Hey! That's my coffee!" She shouted.

"Oops." He said, returning the empty cup to her.

_Fuck!_ Sybel thought, staring at the empty cup. "You've not answered my question." Sybel persisted, pushing the empty cup away in disgust.

"What?" Hairy asked.

_Is this man a retard? _She thought. "I asked why are you looking for her?" She asked, again.

"She's my daughter. Well, adopted daughter, actually. You see, we were on the way to South AssField when our car crashed." Hairy said. "When I woke up, she was missing. I hope she's dead- uh, I mean, _safe_." He buried his face in his hands, faking his cry.

_Drama queen._ She thought. "Okay. Look, I'll go out and get reinforcement. It's not safe for a little girl to wonder in this place all by herself. Here's a handgun for you. In case you see her-" Sybel said, handing over her handgun.

"I'll be sure to shoot her with it." Hairy said, almost too quickly.

Sybel stared at him with disbelieve.

Hairy saw the weird look on her face. "I-I, I mean, I'll _protect_ her with it." He corrected.

"Whatever. Anyway, you _DO _know how to use the handgun. Right?" She asked.

"Sure. You just release the safety here and-"

(BANG!)

"AHHH!" Sybel screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? YOU ALMOST KILLED ME! YOU IDIOT!"

"Sorry." Hairy apologized.

"J-just be careful." She said, shaking at her head as she walked out of the diner.

Hairy made sure that the female officer has left the premise before running over to the cash register behind the counter. He slid the handgun inside his pocket and picked up a knife next to the register to pry the machine open. After several attempts, the register finally gave in and opened.

"What? Nothing?" He spat, staring inside the empty register. _Dammit! That police bitch must have taken everything. _He thought. He then slammed the register shut and searched high and low for other valuables, but there were none. In the end, all he got was a knife, a flashlight, a map, and a broken radio. Hairy groaned in disgust.

As he was about to leave the place to continue his quest for his daughter's assassination, the radio suddenly went berserk, broadcasting loud static noises.

"What the hell?" Hairy wondered.

The glass windows to the diner suddenly shattered, sending glass fragments flying all over the place. Hairy looked up just in time to see something crashing into the diner.

And he screamed.

**End of Chapter 1.**

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Silent Hill or Resident Evil. I play them.


End file.
